Sister Mary Karen

2003-09-23T07:23:00.000-04:00

"So often these days, eating Indian food passes for spirituality."
Dan Bern [via Miller]

2003-09-23T06:47:00.000-04:00

[post deleted. sorry.]

2003-09-16T11:17:00.000-04:00

Nerd Alert

Man, I'm lame. I've already hit the highlight of my day.

I wrote and used my first cookie on a web site.

{sniff} I'm getting a little emotional ... I feel like I've stepped into a new, wider world of nerd-dom.

2003-09-16T08:05:00.000-04:00

LINK LOVE * LINK LOVE * LINK LOVE

For the Sake of Argument:
A Workshop in Effective Reasoning and Arguing for Women

GFI Center
208 W. 30th St., #206, near 7th Ave
New York, NY

TOMORROW, WED SEPT. 17
6:30-9:30pm

"Too often, women avoid serious discussion of ideas out of a fear that argument means intimidation, hostility, or antagonism. The result is that their ideas and convictions often go unheard and unimplemented, holding them back from professional success and personal fulfillment. But thinking about and arguing for your ideas does not need to be a difficult proposition. By learning what reasoning and arguing really entail, you can raise your confidence and your ability to make yourself heard."

More details ...

2003-09-11T10:13:00.001-04:00

I really don't have anything to say.

If you're looking for links about it, I suggest:

A tribute [601am]

More ... [me@Beliefnet]

2003-09-09T11:02:00.000-04:00

"The best way to waste your life is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate. Let Big Brother do the singing and dancing for you. Be a reporter. Be a good witness. A grateful member of the audience."
Lullaby, by Chuck Palahniuk

Um, does that mean we should stop blogging?

2003-09-07T18:17:00.000-04:00

Can you tell this poor child is bored? Four posts, on a weekend? Sitting around, smoking pot, nose in a book, playing with those animals of hers, all when she should be at church celebrating the glory of God?

What more can I do? I mean, I pray for this one all the time! You'd think prayer didn't work ...

2003-09-07T18:07:00.000-04:00

Oh Sweet Irony

You know how they always say, "Everything happens for a reason"? Try this one on for size.

For what imaginable reason could karma storm a stammering security guard into our concert luxury box, asking to see our tickets, while I'm puffing on a joint?

Could it be to see me punished for breaking the rules of the arena and breaking the law?

In snarky fact, no.

Could it be so I learn my lesson about the risks of smoking pot in public and cut it out?

Actually, no.

Could it be so that two weeks later, on a Sunday afternoon, when the girl is bored, out of weed and jonesing to get a little stoned, she can smile when she reaches into the back pocket of the concert jeans and pulls out a stubbed out joint end that she now remembers she quickly pinched away when the rent-a-cop walked up?

I think so.

2003-09-06T22:17:00.000-04:00

Sobering Up

Oh, will you shut up with all the 'wah wah I'm so poor' crap! Please! Do you think Mother Teresa would have been whining about not being able to buy new sneakers for fall, especially those super-cool Pumas you'd love to have? I don't think so!

I found this [via semaphoria].
You are in the top 4.96% richest people in the world.

There are 5,701,838,440 people poorer than you.

How do you feel about that? A bit richer we hope. ...

Oh, and in case you're interested you are the 298,161,560 richest person in the world.
Ungrateful, secular wench.

2003-09-06T15:39:00.000-04:00

If You Can Make It Here

Uh oh ...

The day I knew would sometime come, but a part of me always hoped it wouldn't: I'm wondering if it's time to leave New York City.

I do love it so much. That's no lie. Something about being here: everything feels important. Just walking down the street -- here -- makes me feel part of something bigger than me: New York, the world. I've always been a small-fish-in-a-big-pond sorta girl, and New York suits that sentiment better than any other place I can think of. Plus, there's the amazing people I've come to know and love, and the sense of accomplishment I have for getting on here as long as I have.

Today, though, my NYC friend that I have known the longest announced that next summer she wants to move away from the Big Apple to a more temperate life closer to the equator.

How serious she is, it's too early to tell. But she's thinking, and she's got me thinking.

My money is so thin. I'm disappointed that I'm not able to live in this city the way I wish I could. It's all a giant 5th Avenue store window, inches away from something I know I can't have. And, the financial forecast doesn't show any signs of breaking sunshine over the next six to 12 months.

And let's not forget the terrorism, including anthrax; a giant blackout; kicking smokers out of bars; decreasing spending on trash pickup so the entire city smells like garbage more than ever; increase in MTA fares ... losing my job twice, being out of work a total of 9 months; getting ivloved with a few jerky men; having to move out of my own place and back to having a roommate ... aquiring, not one, but two cats, two cats! ... Not good signs, friends. Not good at all.

Should I stay here, stick it out, hope for the best? When this company says, "It'll make us a lot of money," believe it again? Maybe by the time I'm 27, I'll have my own place again?

I'm not sure those are reasons to stay.

And then come some exciting ideas.

Where would I go? A cool climate I would love, like Toronto, Portland or Seattle? Northern California, where I would have a friend? Hawaii? The mountains, or even Montana? Phoenix, Austin, San Diego, Vancouver?

Overseas would be amazing, but since I don't know another language, options are limited. In my time in Italy, I learned enough to get around, but eventually I'd want to get to know people, and not being able to communicate would make that difficult. ("Lessons?" With what money? And around and around ...) London would be fantastic, but if my reasons for moving are largely financial, I'm not sure London would be any better than New York, except for the accents.

I don't want to go back to the Midwest. I do know that much.

How much money would I need to save to make it happen? Can I save anything? Do I want to move somewhere where I don't know anyone, or know someone? How much money will I be making? How much should my new rent be? Do I need a job before I move, or can I be brave and just throw caution to the wind and just go? I'm not too worried about meeting new friends because that'll just happen. It always does.

Thoughts are brewing, swirling, tickling, giggling ...

2003-09-04T10:57:00.000-04:00

"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."
Hindu proverb

2003-09-04T10:48:00.000-04:00

I can't afford drinks. I'm not a big drinker in the first place, but to be able to have a few glasses of wine or margaritas is certainly a pleasure. And one my wallet can no longer handle.

I can't afford cigarettes. I quit almost a year ago and did very well, but I've slipped in recent months (i.e. dated a smoker, drinking at outdoor bars (back in the day when I had some cash, that is), being weak for that dirty, ashy, tarry smokey goodness). But, the wallet can't make room for ciggies either.

I can't afford drugs. Illegal substance delivery is a beautiful thing to behold, truly, but it is not cheap, and if I can't afford a beer, I can't afford a jewel box of leafy green buds either.

'Tis all a pity, because without these, how will I cope with my you'd-never-believe-a-person-can-live-on-this salary?

Food isn't appealing and would probably be an unhealthy crutch. Sex would be nice, but as I discussed yesterday, I got rid of that source. Art is a good idea, but I'm not inspired to start anything new.

Have no fear. I think I have found an answer.

Exercise.

It's free: All a jog around the neighborhood costs me is dignity for hacking, wheezing and keeling over on the sidewalk every few blocks. I own some yoga tapes and a jump rope. That should keep me busy, shouldn't it?

It's good for my physical health: I think the coughing up some lung-exorcised phlegm was a good thing. Adios, ashen lungs!

It's good for my mental health: It's pretty easy to get into a slump when your checking account is as life sustaining as cigarettes. And you've been reassured that a raise is nowhere in the near future. And my friends and family won't get holiday presents again this year. And I can't buy any new clothes for the fall ... See how easy it is? They say exercise can help keep spirits up. I'm hoping for some of that.

And, on top of all that, it would be cool if my belly flattened out in the process. (What good is a navel piercing if you can't show if off, I ask you. None. None at all, I say.)

Win, win, win, win.

FYI: I went jogging this morning. Just today. Chances are slim that I will keep this up, as I've not been able to before. Wish me luck!

Oh, and I will be rewarding myself for staying quit of smoking and keeping up the exercise with DVDs (on the credit card) and a new piercing (also on a credit card).

2003-09-03T08:38:00.000-04:00

"[S]he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast."
Proverbs 15:15

2003-09-03T08:35:00.000-04:00

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Especially when you have to do it more than once, after last week having been convinced that my concern was not a reason separate and told to stop "freaking out."

I don't like being told not to "freak out," especially when I'm not freaking out in the first place. (Apparently, on his planet, sending a dozen roses to a girl's office means nothing more than a wave hello. Is that what it means on your planet? Do I live in deep space?)

"Well, if we both see that we're on the same page, and that neither of us want anything serious, I don't see why we can't keep seeing each other."

At the time, I didn't either, and couldn't quickly come up with the words to say, "But... but... I don't wanna."

This week, however, I have the determination (I was going to say "resolve," but our President uses that word far too much for me to want to touch it) to be bolder and firmer about where I stand. I, in fact, do see why we can't see each other anymore. If it's not going anywhere, it must end sometime, and that time is now. (Am I campaigning?)

May the force be with me.

2003-08-27T11:42:00.000-04:00

Oh Lord, oh Lord ... it's getting worse.

Jesus, please help me. The torment this girl is heaping on me is becoming too much for me to bear. I am at my wits end, and I pray for Your guidance to lead her back to the right path, the path to You.

She attended a Howard Dean rally last night!

Rosary?! Where is my rosary?? Our Father, who art in heaven ...

2003-08-21T08:36:00.000-04:00

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire

2003-08-20T22:21:00.000-04:00

2003-08-20T08:44:00.000-04:00

"Saints are sinners who kept going."
Robert Louis Stevenson

2003-08-20T08:42:00.000-04:00

SPOILERS AHEAD IN WHITE; IF YOU HAVE READ THE DA VINCI CODE, FEEL FREE TO HIGHLIGHT OVER AND READ; IF YOU HAVE NOT READ AND THINK YOU MIGHT, DON'T.

Oh dear! Well, if that wasn't 450 pages of trash! Humph! I mean really! Jesus married! And had children no less!

Really now. What a bunch of anti-Catholic propaganda. Smearing the poor, pious and innocent Opus Dei, who have never hurt anyone. (Well, except themselves with the self-flagellation and all. But that's beside the point!) Purporting that the Catholic church killed millions of pagans and that Jesus is divine by a vote! (That can't be true, can--) Ah, well, I never! Faith, my love, faith, not conspiracy should be Jesus' legend, not this "Holy Grail" stuff. People are going to be going around now with an even worse opinion of the church--based on one man's attempt at entertainment--and the sheep Americans will not know the difference! I am horrified that this is a best seller!
Sister Mary Karen

Sister, sadly, people need only read the news--not fiction--to be developing a worse opinion of the Church. Forget conspiracy theories about what happened 1,000 years ago. Look at what's happened in the last 10.

And what's wrong with some entertainment? It is clearly marked fiction, you know.

And I loved it. Couldn't put it down. Great fun.

2003-08-19T11:20:00.000-04:00

Me. August 14, 2003.

2003-08-18T10:32:00.000-04:00

"I want to sing like the birds sing not worrying about who hears or what they think."
Rumi, Sufi poet

2003-08-18T10:31:00.000-04:00

Aherm ... 'When she carried on her harlotry so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned from her sister. Yet she increased her harlotry, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the harlot in the land of Egypt and doted upon her paramours there, whose members were like those of asses, and whose issue was like that of horses. Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom and pressed your young breasts'† ...
Sister Mary Karen

What are you doing?
Karen

Ah! Nothing! I mean, nothing. Just, you know, spending some time with the Good Book.
Sister Mary Karen

Dirty.

2003-08-14T14:23:00.000-04:00

"To admit you were wrong is to declare you are wiser now than before."
Unknown

2003-08-14T14:13:00.000-04:00

Sister, I have a question. I'm not as smart as some people when it comes to Bible-y things, but why do you believe some things in the Bible and not others?
Karen

Because it is all the Word of God, and God is all-knowing. It is all true and good.
Sister Mary Karen

Well, I don't even want to go there, because you know it was written by men and some of it is most definitely not good. But, I digress. Why, for example, will you decry homosexuality as a sin because of some teeny open-to-interpretation possibly mistranslated verses††; but there are other things you don't stick to, like sinnin' by chillin' with me while I'm on the rag†? Or eating crabcakes†?
Karen

Well, because that is clearly out of date, and no longer has relevance to life today.
Sister Mary Karen

But why do you say the one is out of date and not the other?
Karen

Because the Holy See says so, and his word is infallible.
Sister Mary Karen

If the Polish dude with the pointy hat in Rome told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it?
Karen

Now you're just being silly. He would never ask that.
Sister Mary Karen

But when two people who truly love one another want to get married, you should just say no just because he says so? Doesn't that sound silly too?
Karen

Durrr ... Stop asking! Kneel! Do not test the Lord†!
Sister Mary Karen

Are you saying the Pope is God?
Karen

No! Augh! You and you secularists and your trapping questions! Stop it! Ask for forgiveness!
Sister Mary Karen

For what?
Karen

For heresy!
Sister Mary Karen

But I don't believe in 'God,' so how can anything I do be considered heretical? Even if there was a God, why wouldn't he want me to use my brain and think about how I live my life?
Karen

Baaaah! Don't you have work to do?

2003-08-13T11:05:00.000-04:00

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be."
Clementine Paddleford

2003-08-13T11:03:00.000-04:00

Let us pray.
Sister Mary Karen

Okay.
Karen

Dear Lord in heaven—
Sister Mary Karen

Dear ... world ...
Karen

Sometimes it becomes far too easy to be overcome with negative emotions and situations. Crummy jobs, miniscule bank accounts, family problems, disputes with friends. We hurt one another out of self-preservation and interest, letting feelings of anger, resentment, frustration, pain, bewilderment and loneliness guide our thoughts and deeds.

Pray that we never again lose sight of the love we have for one another. Its power is awesome, and true love can conquer the negativity if we give in to it with our whole hearts. Love is unknowable, immeasurable and invaluable. Bless us and keep us in that love, make it the guiding force in our lives forever and ever. Amen.
Sister Mary Karen

Amen.

2003-08-12T12:07:00.000-04:00

"As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake."
Ta-sui, Zen master (b. 834 - d. 919)

2003-08-12T11:29:00.000-04:00

In my family, going on vacation did not also mean a vacation from church.

'Catholic' means 'universal,' and boy is it. No vacation destination—or developing nation—is safe from the Roman Catholic Church.

Ireland, church. The Grand Canyon, church. Hawaii, church.

It always put my brother and I in a foul mood to have to ditch swimsuits to put on 'something nice' come Sunday mornings.

Florida, church. Colorado, church. England, church.

Mexico, church.

'En el nombre del Padre, y del Hijo y del Espíritu Santo ...'

Before we headed to dinner on a starry Saturday night, we went to church.

I had only taken through high school Spanish II, but having heard this mass about 1,000 times in my life so far, I was able to follow along very well. Universal.

In the middle of the mass, there was some commotion toward the back of the open-air whitewashed church. We turned around to see a beautiful Mexican woman in a white dress being escorted down the aisle by an older man. Several other women, carrying flowers, followed her. Looking back to the altar, a handsome black-haired brown-skinned man in a black suit waited for her.

'Recibe usted a esta mujer para ser su esposa ...'

Our khaki pants and sunburns felt very out of place, but we smiled and brightened to be a part of this special day.

The priest blessed and married the couple, and the congregation cheered.

The rest of the mass continued as normal. Stand, kneel, stand, kneel.

My family went to dinner after. The entire table slammed tequila shots—even Grandma—tossing them down our throats, immediately followed by a bop on the head with a plastic bottle wielded by a sombrero-sporting waiter, who then shook our heads around until we couldn't stop laughing.

In my opinion, that part of the evening was the more religious experience.

Even still, no other vacation church attendance ever matched that Saturday night in Mexico.

2003-08-11T12:01:00.000-04:00

You've been smoking cigarettes again.
Sister Mary Karen

Shhh! Augh! You just told everyone. Thanks a lot. And it's just been on the weekends. And on dates.
Karen

Yeah, whatever. Why shouldn't everyone know? And why are you making excuses? Feeling ... guilty? {snicker} It really is a nasty habit and bad for your health. You were doing so well.
Sister Mary Karen

I know another nasty habit I'd rather kick.
Karen

Biting your nails? ... OW! What was that for?

2003-08-10T13:13:00.000-04:00

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Dearest Lord, with all your might and grace, I ask for Your help. Our dearest Karen is walking a slippery slope, and I fear she will never return to You and your Infinite Hate... I mean Love! Love! Anyhoo, she is engaging in behaviors I know You would disapprove of, and I am doing my best to straighten her out, but she is a determined woman. This latest turn of events is a doozy! I... I don't even know if I can say it. But I must confess if You are to forgive her, as is commanded by Mother Church.

She... she... she registered Democrat. Aaagh!

Let us pray.

2003-08-10T12:40:00.000-04:00

Slut.
Sister Mary Karen

I'm wearing a jersey shirt and jeans. Why are you calling me a slut?
Karen

You shaved. Everywhere.
Sister Mary Karen

Are you really giving me shit about going to visit a guy I've been seeing for a few weeks now?
Karen

Language! That is not what God created the temple of the body for.
Sister Mary Karen

I deserve this. I know I do.
Karen

No, you don't.
Sister Mary Karen

Yes, I do!
Karen

You are dirt. From dirt you came, and to dirt you will return.
Sister Mary Karen

Isn't it dust?
Karen

Dirt! You're dirt!
Sister Mary Karen

I'm leaving now. Have fun saying the rosary or playing checkers with the other nuns. Or whatever it is you do.
Karen

I will! (If that damn Mother Superior hadn't cheated and kinged my ... grrrr)

2003-08-09T12:26:00.001-04:00

I got a new couch.

After sunning in the back 'courtyard' of my building (if 'courtyard' can mean a cement walkway with some landscaping), I walked in through the basement, where all the garbage lives. Squishing by black bags of putrescence and flies, I made it to the hallway, and headed for the elevator.

I couldn't ignore it. This can't be trash ... can it?

A leather couch. A black leather couch. I've never owned a leather couch before.

Is it really trash?

I rushed upstairs and quick-consulted a friend for a second opinion, someone who also lives in a large New York apartment building. He concurred; anything in the basement surrounded by other trash, ipso facto, is trash.

Whee!

I rushed back down, knowing that someone else who saw it may draw the same conclusion. How I thought I was going to manage it getting upstairs on my own, I did not know. But I called dibs, and I had to have it.

I lucked out, and one of the superintendent's helpers was in the basement when I went back down.

'Is this trash?'
'...'
'Trash? Is this trash?'
'...'
'Basura?'
'Ah, si si.'
'Would you mind helping me take it upstairs?'
'...'
'Ayudame, por favor?'
'Si si.'

Funny thing is, I've had this couch for a little while now. A few weeks. Since then, I've almost never really sat in it. I've spent a lot more time reading in bed than watching my favorite nature TV shows or my Netflix DVDs. Puzzling.

But I do love my leather couch.
Karen

Forgive her sins, O Lord; forgive her the sins of her youth and the sins of her age. She has stolen her neighbor's couch, and the guilt is haunting the poor child. Forgive her, O Lord, forgive her all of Thy great goodness. Amen.
Sister Mary Karen

Shut up.